I'm such a slacker! BUT I'm not giving up!

I'm such a slacker! This is a crazy busy time of year and with one less week between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I'm ready to stick my head in the sand! As you might have figured out by now....I'M STRESSED! Shopping, working, cleaning, scheduling, budgeting, blah, blah, blah. There aren't enough hours in the day or in the night, for that matter.

I read an article today that talked about myths about busting stress. The only ones that were true were all unhealthy or illegal! What's up with that? There was one good one that was true...that pets can help relieve stress (not mine, I have an obnoxious parakeet!), but the other solutions that actually work: 1. Marijuana (it increases serotonin)(NO!! I'm not advocating this or participating, so no worries there! I'd rather be stressed!) 2. Alcohol (Depresses the Central Nervous System)(also not a big fan) 3. Retail Therapy aka SHOPPING (releases dopamine)(Great time to break the budget, right?) UGH! I'm not encouraged.

So the myths that aren't true: 1. Comfort food (most are carbs, and carbs causes highs and lows in your blood sugar) 2. Punching a pillow (actually causes more irritation and aggression) 3. Marriage (if it's a happy one, it can help, but otherwise it makes things worse)

I think my biggest stress causing problem: LACK OF SLEEP (which by the way is on my 101 list)(See...I do have a point that is actually related). I do it to myself every time. I sacrifice sleep in the name of productivity and getting work done. But, how productive or even creative do you think I am at 1:30a? Some nights I'm ok and I feel great while I'm working, but then it takes me three days to recover. Worth it? Probably not. What's worse? When I do get enough sleep, I feel GREAT! I'm happy, I'm productive, I'm organized even! So what's my issue? I still don't know. I think about it and wonder about those people who wake up with a nasty hangover and proclaim "I'm NEVER drinking again!", yet next weekend they are making their way toward that next hangover. Or people who stop smoking or lose weight. I hear them say things like "I feel so much better, I have more energy, I can breathe better", yet I find the smokers huddled in a corner to puffing away in 27 degree weather or the overeater ordering a couple of big macs at Mickey D's.

So, I guess the undeniable truth here is that I am a workaholic. I know you might be thinking this is a bit extreme (which I'm also known for), but it seems that this is an undeniable truth. No, no...don't minimize it to make me feel better. It's true. Some symtoms (I read online): 1. Finding my worth in my work. Hate to say it, but yeah...I do find some of my worth in my work. I love what I do. I love that I'm good at it. I love that other people love it. Not all of my worth is about my work. I do have a healthy love of self (in a non-conceited, fairly humble way) just because I'm me, but I do find SOME of my worth in my work. 2. Taking work home. Yeah...well, when I'm not on location, my editing work is at home, so that's kind of unavoidable. But, the amount of time I spend working at home in contrast to doing other things at home is out of balance. I cannot even tell you the last time I sat down to just watch a show, or read a book, that didn't involve my laptop being with an arms-length, just in case I got an email or because I'm "justifying" my "break" by doing some kind of work every 15 mins and then getting back to "break" activity. 3. Work is always on your mind. Well, to some degree this is a necessary evil. Working for a company where you are a partner does come with a degree of responsibility for not just you, but the company as well. I often think or say "A good businesswoman always has a card on her". Everywhere I go, there is potential for networking or new business, so while it's not always in the forefront of my mind, it is usually in there somewhere. 4. You have no social life other than work related events. I have to say that I've been entertaining this thought about being a workaholic for a while now, and have committed to do some things just for fun. I went to a cookie exchange this weekend knowing that I would get no work done, but that it would be fun and good for me. I went to a Deaf Christmas play yesterday with a friend. I spent an entire day at a friend's house a few weeks ago, and it was great! I haven't gotten past the guilt part of doing those things yet though. Therein lies the problem. I shouldn't feel guilty about having fun. I might be a slacker about blogging, but I'm no slacker about work. Perfectionism is weaved into this as well. I want to have everything done and everyone be happy with me, so I set unrealistic deadlines and go to extremes to meet them. 5. You get upset when others suggest you cut back on your work. GUILTY! Big time. My biggest defense: "You have no idea what it's like". Other defenses: "I'm doing better...Progress not perfection." "Work will get cut back when everything is done, and that's going to be soon." (REALLY? If everything gets done, then I'm in trouble because it means I have no job/future work). 6. You don't take vacations or you take work with you on vacation. GUILTY. Do you know that the only time I was at the beach this summer was for work? (with the exception of one evening when my sister was here from CA). I went to CA for a conference this summer. Don't you know my laptop was with me or at my hotel running slideshows or exporting files? And my Ipod touch and cell phone were on just in case I got an important email or phone call.

I do have a belief about this though. If I were better organized with my materials and time, I think I would feel better about the time that I do spend working and probably spend less time working. I know there's a phrase out there about working smart. I need to look into it. There are some things that can be done to combat workaholism. I've started doing some recently. 1. Set limits on time devoted to work. (I need to add "And stick to them." I've tried doing that. Care to know just how pitiful this is? Read on: I literally have told myself...I'm going to work for 15 mins and then fold the laundry. Then I'll work for 15 more mins and then do the dishes. Then I'll work for 15 more mins and then vacuum. How often do you think that works? Don't answer that. I know...not nearly often enough)(One more example of pitiful. I've come home at 11:30p and actually entertained the thought of opening up my laptop to check email and doing something quick. I don't have that ability. I have literally had to tell myself "When you walk in the door, do NOT even OPEN your computer). 2. Set aside quality time with family and friends. I have started doing this more. See above: friend's house, play, and cookie exchange. Also, I've committed time every night to play cards with my son. (No, not poker!) 3. Use your creativity towards a hobby. I've started doing that too. I've been much more conscious about taking pictures just for fun and not just because I'm contracted to. It's actually been great! Makes me feel like a field reporter and makes me look for interesting things to shoot.

Writing...writing is also good. It helps with the stress. And I actually LOVE to write.

So, all that ranting to say...I'm still here. I'm glad I have almost three years to accomplish my 101 and I'm glad that I've accepted that I'm not going to do it perfectly. There's much to be added to this including pictures for one of my goals, more writing on why I set each goal, pictures of my alarm clock for the nights that I did get to bed by 12am. And more. Stay tuned. I may be small, but I'm mighty, and I'm determined to follow this through! Grrr! I'm putting my game face on! Maybe I'll take a picture of that and post it!